Ken Kwapis’ 2009 ensemble rom-com He’s Just Not That Into You is a fascinating relic of the late 2000s. Missing Tinder by a scant 3 years and hot on the heels of a recession that would render completely unrecognizable the yuppie PMC homeowners the film portrays from the same milieu ten years later, HJNTITY is actually a once-in-a-generation film. Is there another example of a film that failed so spectacularly at relevant social or sexual commentary through absolutely no fault of its own? Conceived as just another addition to an era’s rom-com cannon it emerged a gravestone to Generation X simply through circumstance. What happened to HJNTITY was a sociological phenomenon.
He’s Just Not That Into You is based off of the dating advice book by the same name, which I imagine got its own name from that episode of Sex And The City. The film version chronicles various romantic misadventures of different A-list actor couplings that align with sections of the book. ‘If he won’t marry you…’, ‘if she won’t sleep with you…’, ‘if he’s not calling back…’. There’s a melancholy Jennifer Connelly who is being cheated on by Bradley Cooper, who is sleeping with Scarlett Johansson, who is leading on Kevin Connolly, who is a real estate agent trying to look gay (?). At the center of it all is Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin), the girl in need of the titular advice the most.
Nowadays we might describe Gigi as anxiously attached. She post mortems her dates ad-nauseum and waits by the phone like a ‘50s teenager, otherwise jumping at any scant sign of sexual interest from blind dates to happy hour flirtations. After one date in particular begins to ghost, the desperate Gigi goes to his local bar to stage a run-in. It’s here that Gigi meets Alex (Justin Long). Alex is — get this — Gigi’s opposite. He’s a serial dater, an expert at the blow-off and doesn’t feel bad about it. Alex informs Gigi of the thesis (HJNTITY) and frees her from the heterosexual dating hamster-wheel.
Of course, Gigi is not really free under this new philosophy, she’s just running on a bigger hamster wheel. They all are. The conceit of the film is dating advice for heterosexuals, which is already something of a Beckettian premise. But because this movie is well made (the children have forgotten! Big blockbuster rom-coms used to be things of quality!) it disavows its original thesis. Each couple evades the judgemental ellipses of their titled sections. If he’s not marrying you… maybe you don’t have to get married. If she’s not sleeping with you… then why do you keep asking? By the end, they’ve all begged out of the matrix.
This week is, like HJNTITY, a feel-good blip, the trappings of which will, also like HJNTITY, be laughably irrelevant within a very short period of time. After the storm of mutable placements that typified August (pretty much everything was in Virgo, Pisces, or Gemini), we’re now experiencing a cardinal (Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) interlude and a few domicile planets that lends this week a wholesome and sincere vibe. The current Venus in Libra / Mars in Cancer combination brings forward a very rom-com struggle between guarding our soft little feelings while also wanting to make bold gestures in the name of genuine intimate connection. It’s warm, it’s familiar; it’s a new Blackberry, it’s a jewel toned going-out top, it’s knowing they’re ‘bailing out the banks’ without really understanding what that means yet. It’s 2009, and it’s heaven.
NOTES FOR THE WEEK
Monday, September 9
A return to form and normal procedures. Picking up the pieces but maybe making too much of them. Interpreting details as myth.
Tuesday, September 10
Impotent gregariousness; charity without discernment. Embarrassing outbursts.
Wednesday, September 11
Approaching a situation in an outrageous and deeply disorganized manner and yet, somehow, still pulling it off. Your obvious naivete and a winning sense of optimism work in your favor.
Thursday, September 12
Insisting you are fine and being normal while acting out and making everyone feel weird. Publishing something before it’s ready because too many people told you it was good.
Friday, September 13
Steadiness in the eye of the storm and impatient with those of weaker character.
Saturday, Semptember 14
Charm and affability. Princess Diana in front of her adoring crowd, Princess Grace at her wedding. You’re a blonde woman of the people! Make a speech!
Sunday, September 15
Feelings of neediness and inadequacy have real-world manifestations. The power of passivity as a legitimate way forward.
I absolutely LOVED that movie when it came out
As someone new to astrology and also with a Gemini/Virgo/Pisces placement I’m going to go back and find out what happened in august!